Son: Thank you for honoring the life of your mother through this beautifully written tribute to honor her decision to end her pain and suffering under the most devastating circumstances. Today, she would have been 65 years old, and your words help to raise her memory to the light, where she resides in our hearts. I appreciate you connecting her life to public policy for the benefit of humankind. Love, Dad
Mister Hughes, you and your late wife raised an outstanding American citizen and a courageous, kind, intelligent, and thoughtful human being. Thank you for the gift to all of us! Coleman is a national treasure.
Coleman, my heart yearns to reach out to you in support as you describe your thoughts about assisted suicide subsequent to the loss of your mother. But my head urges caution to such a degree that I just paid $7 to be able to write my response here.
I want to direct your attention to the Oregon Death with Dignity Act: 2023 Data Summary. As in previous years the data collection includes seven categories of responses re: the applicant's reasons for seeking assisted suicide. As in previous years, "Inadequate pain control or concerns about it" ranked six out of the seven categories; only "Financial implications of treatment" ranked lower. The leading reasons for seeking assisted suicide were, in order: "Losing autonomy"; "Loss of dignity"; "Less able to engage in activities making life enjoyable"; "Losing control of bodily functions"; and "Burden on family/friends/caregivers".
These leading reasons happen to be concerns that are born by a growing swath of the American public. The question arises: why must one wait for a terminal diagnosis in order to receive permission for assisted suicide?
With respect to pain control: when it is an issue it's a big issue. Healthcare providers have a responsibility to treat pain assertively, but we can frame our use of effective-but-potentially-lethal doses of pain medication from the perspective of seeking to eliminate pain rather than seeking to eliminate life. I was a nurse for 45 years and I suspect--will never know for certain--that on occasions I have administered a dose of morphine--under doctor's orders-- to a terminal patient in pain that was technically the cause of death. I have never had any crisis of conscience over this.
My own mother died a difficult death some twenty years ago; the last physician's order on her chart was: give morphine whenever her daughter asks for it. I suspect that my own mother's death may have been a result of my request for morphine to relieve pain when I perceived she was suffering. I have never had any remorse about this.
I have noticed over the past 75 years that a tactic of "progressives" seeking to change the culture via change in the law is to focus upon a particular aspect of the issue at hand, about which everybody with a human heart is in agreement, in order to effect change that, in my judgment, results in an erosion of respect for the fundamental dignity of life. Roe v Wade is an example.
The Oregon data make it clear that the focus of the "pro-assisted suicide" lobby involves highlighting an issue--pain control--that elicits great, just compassion but really is not one of the predominant issues, while staying mum about the predominant reasons people report for seeking suicide. I think it is very important for us to take a look at these reasons people report as their motives for wanting to end their lives. Taking a closer look at the leading reasons being given might give rise to a serious and possibly fruitful discussion about why vulnerable people today are led to believe they would be better off dead.
If I were in intolerable pain that could not be controlled I believe I would probably want the quickest and surest way out. In any event I have made sure, in my advanced directives paperwork, to clarify that I want pain relief even if it comes at the risk of ending a life I do not believe I have the right to end. I think I have a God-given right to seek pain relief and to assume risks to obtain it. But pain relief is not really what is on most of these applicant's minds, and we really need to take a closer look at why so many of us today are deciding our lives are expendable.
Coleman, I am so sorry your Mom is gone, it is so tragic that you lost her at such a young age. Thank you for this heartfelt eulogy for the beautiful person she was!
I completely agree with your position on assisted death. I was in my early twenties when I witnessed the slow torturous death of a paralyzed relative who was begging for death to come, yet had to spend over 10 years in that condition before her heart finally gave up.
i was just coming to the comments to say the same thing- you have made me see another side of an issue i thought i was pretty clear on. (you keep doing this to me!! :D)
Thank you for sharing what was obviously a very sad, disturbing situation. I have been an active supporter of the right to assisted death for many years. Your story helps people understand just how important this right is for the people who need it!
My mother had Alzheimer's and ended her own life using a plastic hood and helium. It was the least bad of all possible futures. Thanks for yet another brilliant commentary on an important topic.
Great article Coleman though one thing to consider. My father has Alzheimer’s, and he has no life. He can’t do anything for himself, he can’t talk, he doesn’t even understand what’s going on and it’s only getting worst. He will die of Alzheimer’s, the question is when. When he was diagnosed and still lucid, he told us didn’t want to get to this point, that he wanted to enjoy his lucidness and die when he was no longer himself. We looked into it, getting a power of attorney or some legal document that would let us decide, but this is not possible as he needs to consent when the time comes and demonstrate he is cognitively fit to do so. He can’t remember how old he is much less agree to assisted suicide and it’s painful. It’s painful for our family, for his friends, and if he could express it, for him. He is a prisoner of his deteriorating mind. I love him, I don’t want him to die but this situation is a nightmare destined to get worst with no end in sight. If you do look into this further and expand in a future article, I would appreciate that you consider situations like Alzheimer’s where consent from the individual is not possible once it would be appropriate, like in my fathers case.
Son: Thank you for honoring the life of your mother through this beautifully written tribute to honor her decision to end her pain and suffering under the most devastating circumstances. Today, she would have been 65 years old, and your words help to raise her memory to the light, where she resides in our hearts. I appreciate you connecting her life to public policy for the benefit of humankind. Love, Dad
Mister Hughes, you and your late wife raised an outstanding American citizen and a courageous, kind, intelligent, and thoughtful human being. Thank you for the gift to all of us! Coleman is a national treasure.
Thank you, Coleman. I am rethinking my position on this topic as a result of your article.
Coleman, my heart yearns to reach out to you in support as you describe your thoughts about assisted suicide subsequent to the loss of your mother. But my head urges caution to such a degree that I just paid $7 to be able to write my response here.
I want to direct your attention to the Oregon Death with Dignity Act: 2023 Data Summary. As in previous years the data collection includes seven categories of responses re: the applicant's reasons for seeking assisted suicide. As in previous years, "Inadequate pain control or concerns about it" ranked six out of the seven categories; only "Financial implications of treatment" ranked lower. The leading reasons for seeking assisted suicide were, in order: "Losing autonomy"; "Loss of dignity"; "Less able to engage in activities making life enjoyable"; "Losing control of bodily functions"; and "Burden on family/friends/caregivers".
These leading reasons happen to be concerns that are born by a growing swath of the American public. The question arises: why must one wait for a terminal diagnosis in order to receive permission for assisted suicide?
With respect to pain control: when it is an issue it's a big issue. Healthcare providers have a responsibility to treat pain assertively, but we can frame our use of effective-but-potentially-lethal doses of pain medication from the perspective of seeking to eliminate pain rather than seeking to eliminate life. I was a nurse for 45 years and I suspect--will never know for certain--that on occasions I have administered a dose of morphine--under doctor's orders-- to a terminal patient in pain that was technically the cause of death. I have never had any crisis of conscience over this.
My own mother died a difficult death some twenty years ago; the last physician's order on her chart was: give morphine whenever her daughter asks for it. I suspect that my own mother's death may have been a result of my request for morphine to relieve pain when I perceived she was suffering. I have never had any remorse about this.
I have noticed over the past 75 years that a tactic of "progressives" seeking to change the culture via change in the law is to focus upon a particular aspect of the issue at hand, about which everybody with a human heart is in agreement, in order to effect change that, in my judgment, results in an erosion of respect for the fundamental dignity of life. Roe v Wade is an example.
The Oregon data make it clear that the focus of the "pro-assisted suicide" lobby involves highlighting an issue--pain control--that elicits great, just compassion but really is not one of the predominant issues, while staying mum about the predominant reasons people report for seeking suicide. I think it is very important for us to take a look at these reasons people report as their motives for wanting to end their lives. Taking a closer look at the leading reasons being given might give rise to a serious and possibly fruitful discussion about why vulnerable people today are led to believe they would be better off dead.
If I were in intolerable pain that could not be controlled I believe I would probably want the quickest and surest way out. In any event I have made sure, in my advanced directives paperwork, to clarify that I want pain relief even if it comes at the risk of ending a life I do not believe I have the right to end. I think I have a God-given right to seek pain relief and to assume risks to obtain it. But pain relief is not really what is on most of these applicant's minds, and we really need to take a closer look at why so many of us today are deciding our lives are expendable.
Coleman, I am so sorry your Mom is gone, it is so tragic that you lost her at such a young age. Thank you for this heartfelt eulogy for the beautiful person she was!
I completely agree with your position on assisted death. I was in my early twenties when I witnessed the slow torturous death of a paralyzed relative who was begging for death to come, yet had to spend over 10 years in that condition before her heart finally gave up.
i was just coming to the comments to say the same thing- you have made me see another side of an issue i thought i was pretty clear on. (you keep doing this to me!! :D)
Thank you for sharing what was obviously a very sad, disturbing situation. I have been an active supporter of the right to assisted death for many years. Your story helps people understand just how important this right is for the people who need it!
My mother had Alzheimer's and ended her own life using a plastic hood and helium. It was the least bad of all possible futures. Thanks for yet another brilliant commentary on an important topic.
Great article Coleman though one thing to consider. My father has Alzheimer’s, and he has no life. He can’t do anything for himself, he can’t talk, he doesn’t even understand what’s going on and it’s only getting worst. He will die of Alzheimer’s, the question is when. When he was diagnosed and still lucid, he told us didn’t want to get to this point, that he wanted to enjoy his lucidness and die when he was no longer himself. We looked into it, getting a power of attorney or some legal document that would let us decide, but this is not possible as he needs to consent when the time comes and demonstrate he is cognitively fit to do so. He can’t remember how old he is much less agree to assisted suicide and it’s painful. It’s painful for our family, for his friends, and if he could express it, for him. He is a prisoner of his deteriorating mind. I love him, I don’t want him to die but this situation is a nightmare destined to get worst with no end in sight. If you do look into this further and expand in a future article, I would appreciate that you consider situations like Alzheimer’s where consent from the individual is not possible once it would be appropriate, like in my fathers case.